The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before television, penicillin, polioshots, frozenfoods, Xerox, contactlenses, Frisbees and the pill.
There were no credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.
Man had not yet invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir."
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir."
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends — not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD's, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 & dime stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day, "grass" was mowed, "coke" was a cold drink, "pot" was something your mother cooked in and "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office, "chip" meant a piece of wood, "hardware" was found in a hardware store and "software" wasn't even a word.
We were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.
We volunteered to protect our precious country.
No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap. How old do you think I am?
Pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.
This woman would be only 68 years old. She would have been born in 1952.
Google: I find everything!
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Facebook: I know everyone!
Internet: Without me, you guys are nothing!
Electricity: Yeah, keep talking bitches!!
I signed up for the newsletter at my local ham market.
But all they sent was a bunch of spam.
What do Green Eggs and Ham, and Fifty Shades of Gray have in common?
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
What do children learn from Green Eggs and Ham?
If someone you strongly dislike really wants you to eat something strange for no apparent reason, you should try it.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station..
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
To err is human; to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
An Economic Explanation
It is a slow day in the small East Gippsland town of Mallacoota and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough after the Bushfires and now the COVID-19 Virus restrictions;
everyone is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives into the town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The motel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveller will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything.
No one earned anything...
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that is how a Stimulus package works!
Courtesy of various issues of the North East Victoria Amateur Radio Club newsletter